Mark Snow XF theme song remix in background

Eric: She's he-ee-re.

Kathy: Cue the psycho music!

Bree: No.

Laughter

Eric: I don't even have it ready yet, Bree.

Eric: When we were... when we did the interview with you... Here we go -

Music

Bree: Thank you so much.

Eric: Ladies and gentleman, in the studio with us this morning, David Duchovny, why won't you love her, it's Bree Sharp.

Bree: Hello.

Kathy: Welcome!

Bree: Thank you for having me.

Eric: How are you?

Kathy: How are you doing?

Bree: I'm good, how are you?

Eric: Great! You look alert and alive and awake and ready to go. We normally don't see that from artists.

Bree: I am all those things.

Kathy: Well, you probably not used to singing this early, are you?

Bree: Well, yeah, we've sort of been going around the country and doing early morning shows, so I'm starting to get the swing of it.

Kathy: Oh, okay.

Eric: Got it.

Bree: Get up at about 4 or 5 in the morning...

Eric: Now Bree, it was about, I want to say a month ago, our boss came to us and said, "I got this song from LA from the record company, you gotta play it." He bring it in, we play it. Huge response.

Kathy: Yeah.

Eric: It's all about David Duchovny, who you have a, let's say a mild infatuation with.

Bree: A small crush, I like to say.

Laughter

Eric: Right.

Bree: God forbid I should ever be really in love with someone.

Laughter

Eric: Right. They get a whole album... he just gets a single. So, David Duchovny is in town [Chicago], filming a movie with Minnie Driver, "Return to Me".

Bree: Yeah... it's making me nervous.

Eric: Well, you know what? He could walk in that door at any second cause we have an open invitation for him.

Bree: Oh, really?

Eric: Wouldn't that be something?

Bree: I don't think he will. But that's okay.

Eric: So, we dispatched Swany, our producer, to the set... "Return to Me", to camp outside David's trailer, until David comes out.

Bree: I'm sure he appreciated that. Now he's got Swany stalking him.

Eric: Exactly! Yeah. But Swany can't sing, so it's okay.

Bree: I've never camped out anywhere, Swany.

Kathy: Yeah, but you certainly aren't the first, judging by all the e-mail and everything we've gotten, you're not alone.

Eric: Not at all.

Bree: I was just giving voice to the.. the...

Eric: The masses.

Bree: Yeah, the masses. Thank you.

Eric: So, David comes out of his trailer, we pull him over to the cell phone, and we ask him about the song, and here's what he said.

  This is the interview from a couple weeks ago:
David: I thought it was funny when I heard it, I mean I thought it was a really good tune, and I was kind of embarrased by the lyrics, but I never thought it would become a public thing, so right now it's just even more embarrasing then when I first heard it.

Kathy: Hey David, what does your wife Téa think of the song?

David: Uh, well her first reaction was... it was actually a friend of hers that first brought it to me, and her first reaction was, "I wish I had written the song for you."

Eric and Kathy: Awwwww.

David: But then she's not musical at all.

Eric: Isn't that nice?

Kathy: That's sweet.

Eric: Have you had a chance to meet Bree Sharp, the woman who sings it?

David: No I haven't.

Eric: Would you?

David: Would I? You mean like would I be scared to meet her?

Eric: I don't know. Would you?

David: (I can't tell what he said here.)

Kathy: I would.

David: I think it's kind of a funny song. It's a good tune.

Kathy: And it's got a good beat!

David: It does, you can dance to it. I give it an 85.

Laughter

Eric: There you go.

Back to Bree's interview.

Eric: He likes you.

Bree: I think he wants to meet me.

Eric: I think he does! I think he's digging you, Bree.

Bree: If I had to read into that.

Kathy: Yeah (Laughs)

Bree: If I had a friend, who had a famous person talking about her, I would say that, what he said, there was like under there.

Kathy: Oh sure!

Eric: You guys have some kind of connection.

Bree: There was intrigue,maybe I hope.

Kathy: If it weren't for Téa...

Bree: He's sweet. Isn't he a nice guy? Sounds nice. Alright, okay. Alright, it's out. I like him. I said it. What more do I have to say?

Kathy: Well, we kind of figured that out.

Bree: Yeah.

Eric: Before you play the song, let's talk about this video, too. Now, they're not going to be able to release this video, or are they?

Bree: No, it will remain underground.

Kathy: That stinks. It's a great video!

Bree: I kind of like that underground, cult status it has.

Kathy: Yeah.

Eric: Appearing in this video are, included, are Brad Pitt, Calista Flockhart, Jeannene Garafalo, Kiss, Pamela Anderson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gillian Anderson, Alex Trebek, and David Duchovny all appear!

Bree: And my favorite, who no one ever mentions.

Kathy: Who?

Bree: Charles Nelson Reilly.

Eric: Charles Nelson Reilly!

Bree: Charles Nelson Reilly is in this video, lip synching my song, right sandwiched between Brad Pitt and Kiss. Now, that is funny stuff, ladies and gentlemen.

Eric: That's quality entertainment, right there.

Bree: Quality entertainment.

Eric: You don't just get that everyday.

Kathy: Are you going to have to do another video now?

Bree: Yes. Not have to. I'm very excited about it.

Kathy: That's good, I just love the underground, cult version.

Bree: Yeah, but the underground, cult version has it's underground, cult place, and my public version will have it's place and you know, real fans can sort of... I think it maybe... Shhh... I think it may be on the web somewhere.

Kathy: Wow....

Eric: (Whispering) You would say.

Bree: But I don't know.

Eric: Now, Bree, speaking of real fans, we've had a whole bunch of people wanting to know, too where they could pick up the song or album or whatever. Maybe you could finally lend insight, we're getting tons of calls and e-mail about it.

Bree: How sweet. Well, uh, the album is called A Cheap and Evil Girl.

Laughter

Kathy: That's not you, is it?

Bree: Ah, yes it is.

Kathy: Whoo-hoo!

Bree: Yes, that would be me.

Eric: God bless America! Is this a great country or what?

Bree: Yeah... or at least my alter-ego anyway. I was somewhere the other day, they said, 'Well, you're really nice.' I said, 'Well, it's daytime."

Kathy: Oh.

Eric: Wait till it's dark and I feel sassy.

Bree: Yeah... and it comes out July 27th.

Kathy: Okay, so very soon.

Eric: Soon. Well, let's dispense with all this stuff and get straight to the singing. Will you sing it for us?

Bree: I would love to.

Eric: Let's get this all figured out here.

Kathy: Let me give you a microphone.

Eric: Guitarist Simon is going to help out over there.

Chaos as they try get everything set up.

Eric: Okay. Bree Sharp, David Duchovny, on the Mix, 8:49.

She sings "David Duchovny".

(Her voice is amazing. You could not tell the live version from the recording. It was even a little better in some ways - it was easier to understand what she said. Simon did some backup.)

Bree: Oh, David.

Clapping and cheering.
XF theme starts again.

Eric: Oh Daaviid. Bree's right hee-eere....... Wow! That was fantastic!

Bree: Thank you.

Eric: Talk about hitting some notes early! Kathy and I always try to sing backup with it when it's on the air, and we can't hit those high notes.

Kathy: Oh my God. It's ugly.

Eric: Yeah, it's pretty ugly.

Kathy: You'd be disgusted.

Bree: Thanks for the effort, though.

Eric: Well, you know. Whatever we can do.

Kathy: It's one of those songs, I swear,I'm sure you've heard this before, when I hear it, especially it's one of the songs we hear right before we leave the studio, in my head all day.

Bree: That's so sweet.

Kathy: I'm walking around singing it.

Bree: That's so nice.

Eric: I was walking down Michigan Avenue the other day, the woman in front of me was going, 'David Duchovny, why won't you love me?"

Bree: Honest to God?

Eric: Yeah!

Bree: Oh, that's so funny.

Eric: Yeah, I think it's ready to take off.

Bree: You know, I heard it on the radio for the first time yesterday, it was like the thrill of my life.

Eric: Really?

Kathy: Wow.

Bree: It was so exciting, I got to pretend I was just a listener.

Eric: Gloria?

Gloria (caller): Yes?

Eric: Hi, how are you?

Gloria: Fine, how are you?

Eric: Say hello to Bree Sharp.

Gloria: Hi Bree!

Bree: Hi!

Gloria: I just wanted to say, you sound fantastic! Your voice is great!

Bree: Thank you so much!

Gloria: It's just like you're listening to the song on the radio, well, really on the radio, but recorded! It's really nice.

Bree: Wow. Thank you very much.

Eric: Go out and pick up the album, A Cheap and Evil Girl, July 27th, right, Bree?

Bree: Yeah. Makes getting up at four in the morning worth it.

Eric: Now, how long Bree can we expect to wait until the "Eric and Kathy why won't you love me" song comes out?

Bree: You know, there's something about the song that make people think they can insert their own names.

Kathy: Right.

Bree: I'm not sure what it is, but you're not the first to ask, so I have been saying "It's in the works," but now I think I have to say, "Get in line."

Kathy: Yeah, really.

Bree: A lot of people want to hear their praises sung, I guess.

Eric: Well, that's great. Well, will you come back and visit us soon?

Bree: Oh, I would love to. Thank you guys so much. I had a blast.

Eric: Thanks so much for coming in.

Bree: I hope he was listening.

Eric: Yeah, I hope so too.

Bree: Hi, David, if you're there.

Kathy: We heard he was here, we heard he was in Europe, we don't know.

Bree: He's a jet setter.

Kathy: He is. And you know, he's busy on a movie, so that'll happen.

Eric: Bree, your day will come.

Bree: Thank you. Thanks guys.

Eric: Thank you so much.

(This was the end of the interview, but after the commercial there were some more calls.)

Jim: I just wanted to say that last song by Bree Sharp - live. I've never heard anybody sound quite so like the album live, and have it sound so good.

Kathy: Wasn't it incredible?

Eric: She is really good. Hey, Jim, let me tell you this much. You think she sounded good? You should see her.

Kathy: She is pretty hot.

Jim: Don't tease me.

(After this, it decended into a sophomoric hormone fest of describing her... Eric came up with the line, "Bree Sharp, why won't you love me?")

End.